I went to see a Taoist master recently for a reading.
He told me something that stayed with me:
“Love yourself more. Stop giving in so much. Start prioritising yourself.”
He also said — people around me may seem like they love me,
but they might love taking advantage of me more.
“You like to see the good in people, but they are not as they seem.”
I didn’t fully believe it at first.
I thought… no la.
Then something happened. Shortly after.
I used to collaborate with a teammate.
She got a lead. It was a case another agent couldn’t close.
As a slightly more experienced agent, I spent time helping her —
what to say, how to position things, how to handle the client.
She slowly gained the client’s trust,
which I was genuinely happy about.
At some point, I had family matters to attend to.
I couldn’t be as present in liaising with other agents.
I even told her —
“Hey, if anything, I don’t mind taking a smaller share.”
To me, it was teamwork.
Give and take.
She said she’d add me into the group chat with the client.
She didn’t.
Christmas came, then CNY.
I told her if she’s getting the client a gift, I don’t mind sharing the cost.
She didn’t loop me in either.
Still, I didn’t think too much of it.
Her birthday came in January.
I treated her to a meal.
Because to me, she wasn’t just a teammate.
She was a friend.
Then I found out.
She closed the deal.
With the same client.
At a new launch.
Without telling me.
I won’t lie — it hurt.
Not just because of the money (okay, a bit also).
But because I felt… blindsided.
Like I was present for the build-up,
but completely removed from the ending.
After sitting with it for a while,
I realised something uncomfortable.
I kept telling myself,
“It’s okay, anything. As long as can close can already.”
But maybe, to her,
I was just… easy.
Easy to leave out.
Easy to replace.
That Taoist master’s words came back to me.
Maybe loving myself more
isn’t about becoming selfish.
Maybe it’s about having boundaries.
About not over-giving
without clarity.
About understanding that
not everyone operates the way I do.
I don’t think this experience made me more cynical.
But it did make me more aware.
That kindness, without structure,
can cost you more than you think.
Through this incident, I got stronger.
And I’ll still continue to treat my clients with sincerity —
because that’s what built my relationships in the first place.
That’s what earned trust.
Just… with better boundaries now.
